The Great Adventure

WTF is a pathfinder society?
I might still have sand in my vagina.

Retching over, we collect the bodies and detect magic.
Stones heroically drinks Juniper Liquor, which is surprising, because looking around the game table, we all are.
We divide the loot: 296GP
Stones takes the headband of wisdom + 2 INT, Bruiser’s shawl (hyena’s scream of fear (30ft cone DC16 once a day)), 2 tanglefoot bags, and a thunderstone
Gam grabs the Black egg, nightmare vapour, a poisoned dagger, dipping pouch of poisoning (2 doses, sand slippers,
Hanlon tak es a potion of cure moderate and a Cloak (+ 1 arrow deflection shield cloak), and a belt of giant strength.
Tierra Grabs the Girdle of mighty CON (+ 2)
the Bag of holding gets: Flind Bars (nunchuks d8) and 4 MW javelins
GAM/GAR/HAN each take a CLW + 2 potion

Hanlon puts on the belt of Giant strength and finds he need to mightily resist being changed into Hanlette. He is successful.

We remove the bodies to a suitable distance and throw some healing all around on ourselves.

At 10am we try to “decurse” Tierra’s belt. We are not successful and it constricts for 5 damage. The belt is removed until we can ensure it’s safe use.

We set out across the hot and sunny desert landscape with a Storm fast approaching from the NNW.

We decide to hunker down on the windward side (so as not to get buried) and cover ourselves with the sail and get ready to wait it out.

It’s fierce and nasty and when it hits, there is much damage to GAR,GAM and HAN. The first 30 minutes are overwhelming and then it keeps going.
Gam trances out and successfully becomes “one with the storm” and begins learning.
More damage and knocked heads are handed out as GAM continues to commune with the storm. He makes a breakthrough and gives us respite in a cocoon of sanctuary. The storm continues to rage around us.
Gam continues to learn and tries to manipulate the sand and builds a “wall” which continues to protect us from the storm.
Tierra uses the respite to heal (restoration) herself from poison damage taken earlier.
Gam has another breakthrough and epically manages to create a “sand skin” layer on himself which he describes as “somewhat mobility restricting” We contemplate whether this layer would provide dome DR vs heat, but cannot test it at the moment.
The storm abates and Gam uses his new powers to de-sand the party and the sail. We trudge through the sand for a KM until we find the road, then its 3 easy (relatively) km to the city. We first see shacks, then a wall with green behind it.
We style ourselves as silk merchants using the silk we got from the giants. Gam plays with the sand, making little whirlwinds and piles.
as we enter the city we are accosted by a begging girl. Gam pushpockets 3 silver pieces and in the process does not notice that the girl pickpockets something.
Roll Init!
Tiran fails casting a spell
Hanlon, tackles, earcfhes the girl and find Gam’s deck of cards
Gar intimidates
the Girl spins a yarn that we can clearly see through
Gam charms her and solicits information
The girl – KEETTA is all in and tells us about the toll to get into the city HIGH BANDAHAR and about the dress code. She has a cardboard box home in the SW near the (non flowing, non artesian) well.
We approach the gate and meet the guards who wear tan cloaks and silver face masks with chainmail.
We go up the 15 stairs
Gam and Tierra are “nobles” GAR and HAN are guards, Stones carries the chamber pot.
‘Keetta, you wait by that well"
We read the ominous (challenging?) sign over the entrance (in many languages):
“Drawing a weapon in High Bandahar will result in amputation of varying and appropriate severity up to and including the head”
We cough up the 25GP per person for entrance, out by sunrise unless in an INN
We go in after being marked on the arm
Hanging Gardens of Babylon type of decadence. We see 4 marble statues:
Scorpion Left
Coiled snake Right
Hawk front
Tree, palm behind
huge water area more than 100ft across
2 story statue of DAVE with his 8 bob wang
water drains to 4 non cardinal directions with 4 stone bridges over the flow.
To the left, tightly packed Tiny Houses™ rich people with peons and grape peelers. we see no merchants. Stones asks the guards which way to go for lodging. We go left where the predominant colour is red. to the right, yellow.
Black NW
White NE
Yellow SE
Red SW
We see lots of slaves and servants of different races. We see a couple of foreigners out smoking, but don’t know them.
we see a 1/2 elf woman with a slave. she is sporting the following:
Gam introduces himself well
1/2 elf woman asks what she can do for us, we solicit a room with a bath. after much witty banter, she tells us to go 2 doors down and “tell them VIESH sent you”.
We take her advice and drop 224 for the week (here’s 225, get yourself something nice) and have our arms remarked. We can come and go as we please.
We head back to chat with VIESH after getting wicked 3x clean.
We discuss the market:
ODD days 8-10am
EVEN days 5-7pm
lots of leisure time except for market time
days 4 nothing open “chaingesgtar”
today is day 7

we discuss the symbol
PATHFINDER SOCIETY’ Dedicated to the collection of knowledge and make chronicles of knowledge
GAM asks about possibility of getting into the Society

OATH – long and hard to write
Seek out, collect, report

We have seen 2 dozen emblems in High Bandahar, but none on VIESH and crew.
VIESH says they have libraries and resources when you travel. We can keep artifacts, just have to write about them. Quests are available. No Pay

To join: 100GP, vows under spell, 1yr probation,
Will talk more later….

More market discussion:
Each quad different commerce/items
Head Thacker Black – Wallet she lack – magic items, augmentation
NE Hoise Thacker – White – weapons, armor, gear, animals
SE SERUMPTER Yellow – vices-liqour, pesh, slaves, poisons
SW KEFLEN – red – art, luxury, gems, jewels, knowledge, religion

need purchaser’s card, but most people just bluff with a piece of paper.
Real card for each sector, light blue robes, meek, background checks.

Commerce is aggressively chaotic, no wine smashing, show no weakenss.

VIESH is from Four Waters. knows Ulia, Badorities but was gone prior to our shenanigans.
Pathfinders – in other planes, submissions become contribution to the chronicles.

To be filled yet
Blue dragon bang-a-gong

The secret door before us, Gamalian has figured out the mechanism, but we hesitate to open it, as their might just be a Mother-frakking dragon on the other side. Hanlon uses his serenely stoned powers to bore holes through the door at strategic intervals in an effort to catch a glimpse of the other side, and maybe get an idea of the layout of the caverns beyond. The spelunkian scouting reveals a long tunnel with light at the end of it. The party prepares themselves for action, Tierra spends nearly a minute receiving Sofia’s blessings, and sharing a bit with the party. Tierra is now about ten feet tall, and she might be angry. Tierra summons an Archon on the other side, and the group flings open the door and rushes in to face whatever might be hiding on the other side. Garion and Hanlon rush ahead of the group, with Tierra and Gam behind, Lightson invisible somewhere. A lound crackle and the smell of ozone announce that something bad has happened to the trailing party members. Some sort of brutal lightning strike, maybe we’d found the dragon after all. The beast reveals itself, apparently phasing through a wall. The party surrounds the beast and lays all manner of holy justice into the creature. After a right good pummeling the beast decides that perhaps surviving would be better than becoming an unsightly blue stain on its own cavern floor. The beast flees. Gamalian, not one to suffer this sort of maneuver, leaps onto the back of the dragon, holding on with mijime stabbed into the beast! The pair fly out of the cave, and we’re certain we’ve seen the last of both Gamalian and the dragon, when they suddenly return to the cavern mouth, Gamalian announcing that the dragon has decided that perhaps we could use some diplomacy (the words kind) to settle our differences, rather than the more painful brand we brought to the table initially.

Jalnura tells us about another Dragon, this one bigger, badder, and bluer. This dragon is the great Wench Hezikor, and she’s been terrorizing the countryside, and the unfortunate Jalnura. We make a deal with the dragon to stop being a dick, in exchange for a healthy portion of Hezikor’s loot as well as Jalnura’s life. Jalnura will also help us deal with Hezikor. The party has mixed feelings about helping the dragon, but perhaps destroying the greater evil would ultimately be the best option.
Jalnura shows the party her meager hoard (it had been ravaged by Hezikor). The party takes some choice items, an immovable rod, a pair of Jaunt boots, and a beautiful glowing Akadakada necklace. Tierra picks up the medallion and is suddenly overcome with celestial energy. She shakes her head and seems to awaken from some foggy, greedy slumber. The group proceeds to touch the chain one at a time, Gamalian being affected as Tierra. Lightson tries to avoid his turn, but Garion is having none of it and presses the mdalion into the wizard, causing his medallion to explode. After reflection it would appear that some of the party had been afflicted by the medallions, even when not worn, in the case of Tierra. The medallions caused an increase in selfishness and greed, resulting in some perhaps normally out of character responses to situations.

The group sets up camp in Jalnura’s cave, ready to plot our next move against Hezikor, while the threat of these mysterious amulets loose in Bankhar looms over the horizon…

Ravens and Rock holes

Back in the material plane, and we still seem to be spending all of our time underground. After dealing with the decidedly unfriendly Leukodaemon ,the group spends some time recuperating, crafting, and trying to figure out what exactly the undead gnomes were up to in their mysterious laboratory.

The following day, a raven returns, this one is decidedly less intelligent than our friend Roark, and he has no luck communicating with the beast to determine where it might be taking messages and to whom. The party decides that the best course of action is to send another missive with the bird, apologizing for the destruction of the previous message and requesting an update. The group also decides that sending Roark along to follow would be an advantageous use of the resources on hand. Roark enthusiastically agrees to this task, as he is wont to do. Tierra makes sure he’ll be comfortable by preparing him with an endure elements spell so that the desert sun doesn’t wilt his fine feathers any more than necessary. Roark returns a few hours later and reports that the bird was headed North East and followed him to a vendor’s stall in the city.

While waiting LIghtson and Garion engage in some chess using the mysterious magical board that they’d found. Lightson cheats, surely, and Garion ends up stunned. Apparently losing the game stings a little. The party also confers and decides that slaying the nearby Dragon, Jalnura would be the best course of action for us, cleansing the mountain, and hopefully resulting in piles of sweet, sweet loot to be reintroduced into the local economy. The messenger crow returns the following day with a reply, something wonderfully long winded about how sales are excellent, and that the people are properly ‘ravenous’ for the products. This prompts some experimentation with the amulets and we discover that the magic in the small runestones is shielded when encased in the golden amulets with the rubies.
Crafting complete, set to new purpose and with more questions abou the amulet. The party sets out to find the lair of the dragon. After winding through trapped tunnels, Gamalian finds what seems to be a hidden door through the side of the tunnel. The party licks their lips, as this must be the lair of the dragon…

Ah Mushkiniso, I knew a girl there once...
Hanlon Logs

We give the area a detailed survey… lots of gravity starting at about 30ft above the ground and at the wall (8ft high x 3ft thick). Underneath is just rock, no tunnels. We debate and debate and finally go into the castle. There is a trap door above the entryway, but we skirt it.
We go left (socialists) There are stairs up and a barrack with 12 beds. we don’t find anything unusual.
Next corner, stairs with long hallway.
Next corner, stairs with entry to dining hall.
Dining Hall – 8 “people”, 8 place settings, quiet, no sound. no fires,
on the dais, is a commander type, full armour, cape.
there is a balcony 20ft up
ceiling is high, 25-30ft up
Roark checks out the balcony and sees two undead “taut skin, not moving”
The Duke has hand drawn map for reference.
We decide to not disturb the dining hall and go up stairway #3 clockwise.
We go up about 40ft.

next floor (The Duke has map)

We enter the first room through a door. no traps, opens away from us
there is a 4 poster bed. The room seems to belong to someone important. There is a big closet, dresser, mirror. The mirror works.
Closet – dresses and clothes. False bottom- light, 5 potion bottles, scroll tube, note book.
Dresser – clothes, male – jewels, diamond earrings 1000gp, sapphire necklace 1000gp, topaz necklace, 500gp.

Tierra – dresses in women’s clothes puts on jewelry, takes Hanlon’s hat of disguise.

Bed – plush, 1300 thread count cotton, downy freshness.

Lightstones – puts on rich robes and smells, licks pantaloons.

Scrolls- ARCANE – floating disc, greater magic weapon, arcane lock, knock, invisibility, hypnotic pattern

Window in hallway – no beings, just endless astral plane.

Next room has a sliding door…

the door opens all the way. The room is similar to downstairs, but much more opulent with beautiful tapestries, gold sconces, lots of bling.

4 tables, two skeletons each.
Dais, old white haired “lady” – Dark health?
“welcome trespassers and looters, annorexic compantions for a drink, help yourself. “to your health, or whatever” So where you from? We don’t get many visitors"
We don’t answer yet. Stones dips a finger into flagon and tastes – stings tongue, hurts a bit.

“so, here to sack the castle? storm the place for treasure?”

We ask where she is from.

“the underdark, the lady of spiders” (LOLTH)

“How long have you been here?” we ask.

“judging by my inebriety, at least three drinks”

Stones checks another flagon, same

Drow “it is not to your taste?”

“who do you tell about who visits?” – some guy
“how did you get here?” – found it by chance
“do you remember your childhood?” – ah childhood in the underdark, regulare drow stuff.

“I attack people who come to steal the treasures”
The doors lock, and it’s on.

Drow casts something, some power word.
Tierra rolls out of turn
Hanlon preps punch on the stones, rolls 19
Tierra fails
Garion 0 readies Smite, ferg into hand dramatically and charges, Tango and Cash style over the table but misses.
Roark, leery
Stones “return, spell”
skeletons, light on fire.
Stones is happy.

Tierra recovers from hold person
stones, not casting
Gar gets by drow, but provokes, no dice. misses with ferg.
Stones, horn of stirring
Skeletons, Gar takes 7, stones takes 14
Roark hits to 5 but takes 1 heat.
Hanlon waits

Hanlon punch in stones the drow for 49
Tierra casts channel energy for 63 damage
Stones uses stone, hits one for 18
Roark fucks off
Garion trips on table

Much fighting

Tierra surges, takes out 3 skel
Stones hits drow for 1 – Dead
Garion Dead -7

Tierra saves Gar and all for +13

Stones takes out penultimate skel, hanlon finishes off the last one.

Loot the bodies.

Scrolls – cure mod, cure serious, cause serious.
Rubies, 3000 gp worth
Castle goblet
empty potion vials x3
potion vials x2
1 oil of something

everything goes into the bag of holding… we’ll identify stuff when we have more time.

on one page, I have written “97421234” no recollection.

We call it a night.
DM suggests we familiarise ourselves with out inventories for the trials and tribulations ahead.

Baron Buhler
Into the Great Beyond.....
by Prince John

We leave the excellent establishment of the Astral Tavern, decided upon by vote (of course the Wizard abstains).

We await at the gate, having paid with our legendary token to enter the stop. Loraphim, the heavenly creature, assures us that she (?It?) will keep an eye on the demons and other creatures of evil. The area we wait gazes upon the infinite purple surroundings, with nothing stirring. While we rest and wait, the party decides to make the best of their free time. Gamalion thinks about a rock. Garion tries floating; Tierra the wizard has practice with a new spell, “water into beverage”.

Time passes, and seems to bleed into the next day.

Roark speaks with Gamalian, and then Hanlon starts teaching with Gamalion and ;Mijima’, the blade with a name. The cleric is alarmed to see the student stabbing the monk. Garion continues to practice floating. A party member exclaims, unbelievably, “Go back to your stabbing”.

In the far distance, the vault of stars can be appreciated; it seems extremely far, although close in Astral Terms.

Then, a small dot is identified, and seems to get larger. A red and white ship stops suddenly at our spot, about 75 feet long. It has the name “Blue Slipper” written on the side. A single mast sticks out of the center of the deck. A large female barbarian with a large hammer eyes our party as we make our way to the craft. A man with an interesting speech pattern quickly introduces himself. “I’m Captain Rolly Free. For the first half hour on the oars will be 500 gold, and then we are good to go.” He gives the impression he has never held a position for longer than one can hold their breath.

As the party steps on board, the observe the other creatures on board. There are half orc fighter passengers, as well as 8 feet fall flesh golems. A quick glance at the huge female barbarian reveals that she has a facial tic. All but the wizard offer to handle the oars, as well as Roark.

After a brief time hauling oar, the party speaks with the captain. He talks about his route, which leaves Lastic, and goes to Fort Galleon. He then offers a taste of Red Jackal, a fine weed. The wizard is keen on trying this mildly hallucinogenic weed, and offers his drink in return. The captain takes a quick swig. The wizard decides to take a taste as well, and ends up vomiting his breakfast rations. The captain laughs, thinking how he was so clever to feign appreciation in the beverage. The rest of the party enjoys the joke, as the wizard tries to scrape his tongue clear of the foul drink. As some form of apology, the captain offers the wizard some of the Red Jackal. The spellcaster quickly becomes happier, now at 11 degrees to the deck, baking and feeling numb.

The captain offers some more information, about the Dock they had left. Apparently, the ship had just left ACCAS, where the barbarian was picked up. At this point, the wizards ability to geography and location seems to be completely absent.

The rest of the party spend time on other pursuits. Hanlon watches Gamalion focus on the rock, and make great progress. Garion watches the horizon, as Tierra studies.

About a day and a half later (as time is extremely difficult to gauge), a clanging rings out. A number of hours later, the ship pulls up to a 50 km diameter sphere, that appears to be a nasty place. Fire dominates it’s surface, and a great heat is palpable. It appears to be a hellish demiplane, and the boat pulls up to a stop. A creature boards the ship, apparently known as a AtChuRi (with the appearance of a large 4 legged bird like creature). An immediate sense of unease is felt by all, as the creature walks past them.

The next day, the passengers once again man the oars, as the wizard and familiar rest up on the deck. Afterwards, the group follow their pursuits. Tierra studies, as Hanlon and Gamalion practice with the blade. At one point, Hanlan has a mild drainage of his life essence; Gamalion feels serenely disturbed. The wizard hits the Red Jackal again. After a few hours, Hanlon regains his life essence, and offers some sage advice.

The Captain, looking into the distance, cries “OMG, a Spinner”. It appears to be a circular dot, in the far distance. The boat slows significantly, revealing a bright, spiral collection of light, about 50 km in diameter. Captain Rolly appears extremely excited. "I’ve heard of these things, these swirls of energy. They don’t last long, and no one knows where they come fro But they can charge the ship, and catching ‘a beam’ is a great charge.

[At this point, the Black Bird puppet comes out, to great cheering).

All hands work on the oars, and with the Captains guidance, the ship successfully catches beam. Unique glowing is noted coming from parts of the ship.

Suddenly, a black 2 masted ship appears from the rear of the craft. Over a dozen creatures jump off their deck and head for the passenger ship. Tierra rushes to the edge, attempting to cast a fireball, but the creatures are too quick. As the incoming enemy reach the craft, the rest of the party react. Garion swings, and Hanlon jumps over the edge. Gamalion strikes one with a crossbow, as Tierra calls forth two Hound archons, which manage to strike an enemy. The heroes seem to have a slight bluish glow, and all of their initial attacks seem to be powered, after which the glow disappears.

The wizard blows his horn, to the advantage of the party. The hounds continue to maul more of the black leather clad invaders. The captain starts swinging a chain, with a sickle on one end, and a weight on another. Hanlon, having launched himself over the edge, manages to strike a huge opponent with a mighty hit. Even Rork manages to injure a creature.

The creatures are truly unearthly. They are clad in black, with smooth black leather masks, carrying swords. However, they seem to try to grasp their victims in vicious bear hugs. Captain Rolly is taken down by two of these creatures. The large flesh golems are engaged. Garion manages to bat away an attack, as well as Tierra. While in combat, a mask is knocked off, and the heroes are repulsed by the lack of features seen underneath. No eyes, nose or mouth is present, purely flesh.

The large invader somehow manages to crash into the rear of the craft, entering the hull. The large barbarian drops her weapon, as the wizard manages to cast burning hands. Roark cries, and causes 3 to flee in terror. Gamalion stabs the deck, and regains his glow. The ‘thief / banker’ manages to backstab and kill another creature. As the wizard attempts to aid a fallen Tierra, the dark evil four legged fowl creature attacks, and nearly kills the spellcaster. At this point, a huge blast bursts from below deck, rocks the ship, and blows up the back of the star craft.

The rear of the craft is now splinters, and the evil bird like creature releases the wizard. Tierra manages to cast a healing spell on the spellcaster. At this point, the raiding party begin to withdrawal. The heroes continue to strike the enemy, including the Hound Archons. Gamalion also strikes the foul fowl. A black toxic cloud emanates from the creature, enveloping Tiran Lightson. At the same time, the wizard unleashes his charge magical stone weapons and decimates the devilish creature.

Garion and Tierra yell – ‘We need a ship’. However, the wizard begins to act in an unusual fashion. Fortunately, Tierra casts dispel magic, and manages to make the wizard sane. Hanlon searches the remaining bodies – the captain and first mate are found dead as well. Various swords are found, including gold, chest plate, a sword and a glaive.

The party continues to take stock of the situation. Rork thinks he sees something in the far distance. The enemy ship is no longer visible. All that remains is scattered debris of the ferry craft, and the heroes floating among the rubble……..

The one where Tierra Persuaders the Daemonettes

We rejoin our party in the Nicely Nicely, where they’ve just earned themselves a legendary token for the wildest dragon-rhino show this side of the material plane.

As our group revels in their victory, Garion, Lightson, and Tierra notice some sour stares being directed at the group from the Marilith and her devil croney at the bar. Gamalian orders a round of unicorn tears to celebrate his hand being released from its crystal peace bond.

The group is distracted shortly when the bar’s namesake, Nayoss Layo Nollios floats down to the table. It congratulates the party and informs Tierra that our new Rhino friend would like to be bonded to her on a more permanent basis, and gives her a figurine of wondrous power that will allow her to summon the great beast for a certain amount of time each day. She graciously accepts the gifts and dubs the great blue beast Persuader.

Nayoss departs to make his rounds at other tables in the establishment. The group is excitedly discussing the potential of their new party member when a crackling whip breaks their revelry. A voice screeches out from behind the group, “You’re not the only one who can make unprovoked attacks!!” the awful voice of one of the Matt Daemonettes is all too familiar to the party.

Tierra and Gam get chained up, wracked with lightning induced pain. Gar lashes out in anger but Ferguson gets caught in a chain on his backswing and he loses it. He takes an awful, powerful blow from one of the Daemonettes. Gamalian drops, clutching at the chain wrapped around his neck. Gar continues to be pummeled. Tierra gets dragged to a table behind her as Lightson tosses one of his stones at a Daemonette and takes a swig of a recently abandoned beverage on the table.

Gamalian breaks free of his bondage, but is almost immediately struck down by one of the Daemonettes.

Hanlon, who has been fighting hard with a Daemonettes, drops one with a serenely deadly shot with his damdra.
It’s about this time that Persuader enters the fray and destroys a Daemonette like only a giant blue dragon rhino can, in the name of Tierra’s protection.

Roark, who’d been biding his time up to this point swoops in and, like a stork carrying new life, swoops in to the recently fallen Gamalian and delivers Lauraphim’s healing magic, reviving the fallen elf.

Hanlon and persuader continue to wreck Daemons, and drop another two of the inappropriately dressed belligerents. A nasty claw catches Garion in the midsection, and he drops to the bar floor, unconscious.

Gamalian uses the new life that Roark delivered to summon mijime into his hand. Gamalian wastes no time turning and driving the blade hilt-deep into a nearby Daemonette.

Hanlon uses the distraction to deliver a flurry to the Daemonette delivering major damage to the demon. Roark flutters around one of the demons, while Persuader lays into another. Tierra, swinging her akkadakadan hammer, smashes the final Daemonette, leaving the group victorious yet again.

Hanlon uses his newest victory to puff up his chest and stare daggers at Marilith, Marilith doesn’t seem impressed, but his held back with a timely intervention by Loraphim.

Gamalian decides to take a walk past Marilith and her entourage, but gets noticed and makes conversation with some nearby Frog-people. Because imitation is the highest form of flattery, Marilith walks by the party’s table, and moves to offer condolences to the Daemonettes, making special effort to exude the awful, sickening aura to our table of heroes.

After some deliberation and a few rounds of drinks, the group decides to leave the Nicely Nicely – with an escort from Loraphim— one cannot be too careful.

We leave our party on the platform, legendary token in hand, ready to press the call button for the barge ride.

Angelic Beat Down
Mijime's stony clam stamp.

We had just settled in for another round of drinks after the mayhem with the creepy schoolgirls and their blue dragon rhinoceros. Lightson looked ready to regale us with his knowledge of extra-planar spirits, when we were interrupted by an immense, tall, human-shaped woman. She was about 11ft tall, and had piercing, agate eyes. She had a quarrel with Gamalian and Hanlon, having taken offence at their treatment of the aforementioned school girls. She warned the pair that she’d shove their heads up their asses so far they’d get, I quote, “Shit-stains on their shirts”. Gamalian had apparently upset a balance that the Nicely-Nicely enjoyed up to that point. In order to restore the balance, they would meet in mortal combat, Nicely-Nicely style. Gamalian tried to point out the fallacy of restoring order with the chaos of combat, but the Shaitan was having none of it. Gamalian reluctantly accepts, as it is apparently the only way for this situation to resolve itself. Hanlon tries to sneak in a pre-emptive strike on the Genie, but the waitress, standing nearby, grabs his wrist in an unexpected and unnaturally strong grip.
Soon after the Shaitan removes herself from our table, we are graced by the angel at the bar, floating in on suitably angelic wings. The angel’s name is Lauraphim, she challenges Tierra, Lightson, and myself to accompany her in an engagement with the demon-devil pair at the end of the bar. I feel quite compelled to accept this challenge, as the evil permeating from that end of the bar is quite difficult to ignore.
We are then introduced to the rules of challenge combat at the Nicely-Nicely. Combat by challenge is brought to you by Bugman’s brew," we may not be real, but tell that to the Gnome you woke up next to."

Combat is to be handled in a suitably civilized manner. No preparatory magics are to be cast before the combat, excluding spells of healing. Belligerents may place themselves at any location within the NN. After first warning sounds, combatants have 5 minutes to prepare their battle strategy and place themselves, before the starting bell, when combat begins.
The first bell sounds, and the initial setup dance begins, with Hanlon and Gamalian expertly positioning themselves to force the Shaitan to react. The genie, apparently as planned, sets up underneath the balcony where the reader will recall some of our party members dealt with the chimera and goat combination in a previous entry in this tome.

When the buzzer sounds, Gamalian digs deep into his pockets and pulls out his long-forgotten feather spear he’d received from the mysterious types in Badorities what seems like a lifetime ago, but was nary a week ago. The spear flies true, finding a weak spot in the Shaitan’s defences. The Shaitan shrieks at the unexpected pain wrought by the diminutive Elf. The genie quickly recovers her composure, and seems to descend into a deep concentration, ripples of energy around her indicating that she is charging energy of some kind. Hanlon uses this opportunity to perform a charge of his own, dashing in and striking home with his Damdra. The blow catches the Shaitan on the jaw but doesn’t interrupt the Genie’s concentration. Gamalian takes aim with a gloved hand and sprays a line of webbing at the Shaitan. The web tangles the genie, but its immense strength seems to overcome the limitations of the webbing. Hanlon strikes again, but this time his blow is met by skin that seems to have become stone in the seconds between his last strike. Crouched behind the melee of the Shaitan and Hanlon, Gamalian, crouched after webbing the genie, holds out his hand, a knowing grin forming on his face. He utters one word, a word that sends shivers down the spine of those of us spectating from our out of phase amphitheatre.

“Mijime”. In the blink of an eye, Gamalian is holding the wondrous dagger. With barely a confirmation to see that the dagger had arrived, he struck. Gamalian slipped in behind the Shaitan and drove Mijime into what would probably be the kidney on a human, though mijime is met by mostly stone. The dagger, however, finds a crack and slides into the back of the genie. A horrified expression, the antithesis of the almost lustful expression on Gamalian’s face belie the magical transfer that took place. In an instant the Genie reacts, reaching behind and grasping gamalian. The genie angrily drives Gamalian into a nearby wall. Gamalian actually seems to penetrate into the wall. Hanlon uses the distraction to dig deep into his own psyche, drawing on some unseen well of energy, gaining the distinct impression of a spring coiling to unleash hell on some unsuspecting rodent.
Gamalian drives Mijime again, but is met only by the stony skin of the genie. While hanlon continues charging, Gamalian uses some of his newfound abilities to launch a stunning fist into the Shaitan. The genie is taken aback by the sudden, violent shot from the elf, but before she could truly react to the strike she’s distracted by another hit from behind, as the coiled spring is released. Hanlon, with his patented, slam-to-the-clam routine, strikes at the Shaitan, leaving the immense womanish monster reeling. The Genie’s skin appears to crack, then, shambling backwards, the genie sinks into the floor of the Nicely-Nicely, disappearing completely.
Before the pair can even consider that perhaps they’ve defeated the beast, the genie rises up behind Hanlon. The genie drops the boom on Hanlon, striking hard at the unsuspecting monk. Gamalian reacts by climbing up onto the balcony, the spider-glove lending supernatural climbing abilities to the usually clumsy banker. Gamalian climbs up and positions himself behind the distantly familiar ballista that sits on the balcony.
Hanlon drops his damdra and unleashes three punches on the genie which strike unnaturally fast. The genie shakes at the onslaught, but remains standing.
Gamalian, meanwhile, takes aim with the ballista. While Hanlon maintains the Genie’s attention, Gamalian looses with the immense war machine. The bolt releases, and, in a suitably slow-motion finish for the audience in the Nicely-Nicely, finds the back of the Genie, stabbing through the beast, the point sticking out almost hitting Hanlon on the other side.
With that the crowd erupts! Another epic Nicely-Nicely showdown! “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!” Gamalian rouses the crowd with his arms spread wide.
As the Genie is dragged away awaiting resurrection, the buzzer sounds for the combatants of the second group to begin preparing for their combat.
Lauraphim sets herself up at some distance from the combatants, while Garion prepares himself to engage the Hamatula. As soon as the buzzer drops, Lightson whirls into action, casting a protection spell on me.
The combat begins in earnest, Lauraphim attacking the six-armed demon with authority, ruining its day. I dashed at the Hamatula, Smiting it with Cuthbert’s wrath. The Barbed devil lashes out, but strikes at the protection spell enacted by lightson. My efforts to strike at the beast are thwarted, just as Roark dives from the ceiling unleashing that awful scream from his mask that we’d had crafted for him at Kassanoody’s Karnival. After some back and forth between the angel and the six armed demon, the Nicely-Nicely’s automated enforcers come through, grabbing Marilith and throwing her at the opposite wall!
Lauraphim uses this opportunity to dive in at Marilith, charging for a solid strike.
Meanwhile, Tierra casts a spiritual weapon at the Hamatula, the spiritual chains flailing at the hellish beast. I use this opportunity to strike, my mace falling heavily with Cuthbert’s wrath. The Hamatula seems to cringe, but my strike is met by spikes, always spikes with this beast, as they seemingly drive into every corner of my being.
As I fall from the battle, my companions carry on, as vigorously as ever. Tiran uses my untimely death as an opportunity to fling a fireball into the melee. The flames singe the devil, but it seems to resist most of the damage. The now five armed demon grabs Lauraphim and strikes hard with all remaining limbs.

Tierra lashes in after the fireball and grazes the Hamatula with her chain hammer. Laura continues her onslaught with two solid hits on the demon.
Meanwhile in the other combat, the Hamatula strikes hard against Tierra, perforating her with many painful barbs. Roark dives in at the last minute screaming, possibly sparing Tierra’s life as the Barbed devil is distracted. The Hamatula reaches out with a hand, sending a searing line of flame towards Roark, but finds Tierra with one ,felling her in a smoldering heap.
At the other side of the tavern, Lauraphim and Marilith are engaged in a brutal grapple, Lauraphim escapes, and strikes at the Demon with angelic eye rays. Lauraphim evades the counter-attack and escapes to the corner of the bar, narrowly avoiding a wall of blades that Marilith had set in place. Marilith, unhappy at the failure of her wall of blades, is jarred from her reflection when one of the bar golems grabs her and tosses her at the far wall of the Nicely-Nicely. Laura reaches out, and mutters a few words, launching lightning bolts from her fingertips toward Marilith. The bolts reach the demon, but have no effect on her demonic essence. Marilith, grinning at her success, charges at Lauraphim, but passes through the angel as she shifts into light form at the last second. Marilith turns around, stunned at not destroying the angel, and is met by two eye rays which turn the chaotic demon into a burning, screaming mess on the floor.
Elsewhere in the Nicely-Nicely the barbed devil licks its lips, approaching Lightson. Lightson, who seemed to pale at the approaching beast, hesitates, before reaching to his belt and releasing some marbles toward the steadily advancing devil. One of the stones strikes the devil in its left eye, and with a shriek, the beast goes down.
Again. The Nicely-Nicely goes wild.

Nicely Nicely part 2
here rexie rexie rexie rexie

We start our episode at the Nicely Nicely Pub with a scant 9FU left. That will buy us 9 rounds.

We are approached by the arms, “Brothers in Arms”. The leader, green, wearing studded leather bracers and sporting tattoos of one hand giving the peace sign and another flipping the bird introduces himself as Hand Solo. He also introduces his friends Cool Hand Luke (CHL), blue, dextrous fingers, not as hairy, wearing a silver ring and carrying 4 cups – 2 wood, 2 metal – 1big, 1 small of each, and Knuckle Sandwich, silver, burly, hairy, tattoos of teeth (20) and noses(15) has full beard with Dwarvish arms. A Demon chick (Ancillian) from the adjacent table also comes over to hear what Hand Solo has to say.

Hand tells us to be quiet for a couple of minutes. Noobs get a chance to test perception vs CHL in a classic game of follow the ball. The ball starts under the small metal cup, we have to follow it and say where it ends up. Our perception rolls are hidden but we each have an opportunity to say where we think the ball ends up. Gam and Hanlon both say “big wood” to the delight of the crowd.

Turns out the Matt Daemons had bet the Brothers in Arms to get us to say “big wood”. We win 16 FUs.

We are now up to 25 FUs and feeling pretty flush. We buy the Brothers in Arms a round along with our own round of Shire’s Extra Finest Ale.

It appears that the source of all this FU wealth is the bar itself. It creates FUs when epicness happens.

We receive a challenge from Yuki and the Joshi Gakusei (josie and the pussy cats?) to buy a round (and deliver it) to the Chimera and sheep up on the second floor. We don’t even think of turning down the challenge. Gam, Han and Tierra head up to have a chat and on the way are (attempted) tripped up by Yuki. Gam neatly dodges the attempt. We head upstairs, and our opening salvo of conversation is greeted by a blast of Acid from the Chimera’s Dragon head which hits Tierra. The sheep and goat’s head continue to quietly smoke. Gam, who has flipped out of the way remains in place whilst Tierra and Hanlon go down to the bar to get drinks. We decide on: Shooters! Gold Schlager for the dragon’s head, Bloody Mary for the lion, and Wheat grass with Tequila for the goat and sheep. This meets with much greater success and the dragon winks at us with a flash of his eyes.

While this is going on, Gar and Tiran are propositioned by an angel like creature to take out the demon like creatures sitting at the bar. Something we will have to deal with later because:

Gam takes the hero’s way down by stepping off the balcony and plummeting right onto the Joshi Gakusei’s table, upsetting it and pinning one of the girls. He then calmly walks back to our table. Tierra is unable to not help and does a heal check on the girl and stems the bleeding. Hanlon grabs a miraculously unspilled drink and makes the injured girl drink it while massaging her throat. The giant wades in and rights the upset table as the girl recovers. Tiran with his lightweight bladders heads off to what appears to be the bathroom to take a piss. He returns feeling refreshed like he’s had an 8 hour nap. He says we can go in once a day. He casually casts grease on one of the girls on his way past. Tierra and Hanlon return to the table, but not before Hanlon puts the boots to the recovering girl – possibly a mistake.

We buy another round, 31 FUs remaining. The Japanese girls head off to the washroom and in an attempt to secure a more central location in the bar, we steal their table.

The girls return with a friend… a blue dragonspawn rhinosaurus rex. With a cry of “Fighting!” which sounds like “Whiting!” with the accent, Yuki releases her hold on Blue’s leash and the Rhino lunges for Hanlon, dealing 40 points of damage. And here is where it gets good… Tiran opens a dimensional door right in front of Blue who has no choice but to run through it and ends up on the second floor heading directly for the chimera, whom he hits. Hanlon runs upstairs and takes a chunk out of Blue with his Damdrah before Blue heads over the balcony to land on Tiran making him somewhat less than fully alive.

The Chimera goes over the edge after Blue dealing a fair amount of damage. Roark, never one to be left out, hits the room with a horrifying sonic cackle. Hanlon goes over the top rope with a mighty swipe dealing even more damage. Gar cuts air. Gam uses an epic point to roll out from under the table to prevent being crushed and is able to mount Blue directly behind on her neck. Although the Chimera deals the next hit which does in the beast, Gam stabs Blue in the skull with Mimije and successfully bluffs the killing blow. The Crowd is going bananas. We revive Tiran.

We take another round and send one up to the chimera and sheep for their help.

Tierra checks on Nova who was in a backpack. Nova is fine.

As Blue is coming around, Ferguson is used to take the 4 inch tip (just the tip) of its blue horn.

Tiran fails he third DC check – he is getting right hammered.

The barmaid brings us 20FUs. We now sit at 49 FU and have made some friends, maybe, and some enemies, for sure.

Somewhere in there, we learned that we need at least 100FU to even apply for Legendary status – almost halfway there.


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